I am returning home today from a much-needed vacation with little Internet and lots of downtimes. We took a leisurely river cruise down the Danube River starting in Budapest and ending in Nuremberg, Germany. I love history, especially WW2 history. There is so much to learn from the mistakes of the past if we will but listen and learn. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act. Why then, is the church still so often silent, when the evil is being perpetrated at home?
One of the questions I receive most often from women is around mandatory sex in marriage when the relationship of trust and safety has been repeatedly broken with no genuine repentance or rebuilding of that trust.
I feel angry and bitter toward him for the way he treats me, yet he still expects me to be loving and affectionate with him, especially in bed. What does God expect me to do? Can I withhold sex as a consequence of his abusive behavior? Answer: This is an extremely important question that many women face. An emotionally destructive marriage is where the personhood, dignity, and personal choice of the spouse is regularly diminished, degraded, disregarded, or crushed.
No one likes feeling like an object, especially if you are in a committed relationship with the person who treats you as such. Husbands sometimes complain to me that they feel that their wives treat them like a paycheck. Marriage is the most sacred and intimate relationship we have apart from our relationship with God. When one person, or both people, continually disrespect, mistreat, or lie to the other, trust is broken.
A person can have sex without trust or safety such as rape, or prostitution but you cannot have intimacy or close relationship.
